I still feel

Mins feel like months, hours feel like years. The thought of your name runs desperately through my mind at a continues pace. I can't stand this constant wondering through my mind, even tho I have the answers in front of my eyes. I was once again, just another girl, just another late night good time. It confuses me how I let myself become confused. I hurt knowing I didn't matter, that even though my cries are in front of his eyes, he chooses not to see. Blinded sided by my vulnerable heart. I'm an ocean boat a float, screaming in the empty sea for help and I'm the only reflection I see as I look down. Where do I go? How do I make do with the life I see in front of me?
His tender voice is all I hear, his sweet smile is all I see. His hand in mine is all I want to feel. The warmth of soft lips is all I yearn for. I wish he could see and feel what I feel. As I close my eyes, I imagine how he pretended to love the moments as we laid together, my arms in his, his in mine. My eyes gazing as he gazes back into mine. Followed by a hug that says "ill keep you save." I relapse to reality I know I can only save myself, I know this time it will be different. I understand I have been reckless, trying to put together a mess. I hold back the tears that keep my heart from wanting to rupture. That warmth of a tear, is my heart collapsing, unwillingly. I thought I could be, but I know I shouldn't be, but I know I can't be, just another girl.