I place the worn ring around my wedding finger, and instantaneously the pink glistening heart ring brings tears to my eyes. It was like an automatic reaction of desire, hurt, wonder. All the things that simple ring meant to me and what they mean to me now.
I lay restless, thinking of who you were and what our future had to hold. If I would of guessed pain, I never would have set the ring on my finger but rather around my neck, with chance of it breaking loose. When the ring was around my finger, there was no breaking loose. I hold back the warmth inside that dissolves my inner most thoughts, turning my veins to ice and heart to pieces. I loved you, and 365days meant it was only u inside my mind.
Why do I still miss you? Why do I wish it was you at times by my side. Everything bout you I hide inside, altering my ability to love, feel and remember. Its dawn on me, life without you has been reckless. I wanna love you, but I know I shouldn't. I wanna lay next you, but that sin is equal to death. Its my own stubborn mind that brings about a delusion of you and me. Only drugs and sleep keep my fantasy alive. I wish you could see the pain behind these eyes, and the confusion that never escapes my mind.
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